My esophageal varicies are at it again, i have no idea how or even why any more. Last month i was hospitalized for a bleed, i had an endoscopy performed, two weeks later i had another with no bleeding and everything looked fine.
and yet, here i sit, a week later finding myself in a similar situation to near a month ago.
It's like a time bomb, with no visible timer, it just ticks. Taunting me, reminding me that soon they'll pop and when i'm not attentive enough, i won't be able to react. I fear the treatment is worsening my varicies.
The problem is that now they'll need to up my RX for my beta blockers to combat the varicies, which means if i am allowed to remain on treatment i will have so little energy a full workday will not even be possible, let alone even driving there.
If this latest bleeding episode turns out to be more varicies, there is a high likelihood that i will be forced to stop treatment, regardless the viral load.
So soon i will depart for my seaside villa in La Jolla, also known as the hospital.
No matter how bad it becomes, i hold steady to hope.