Full Stop.

I received a call today from not my doctor, not my nurse, but rather the scheduler to talk about two things. The first is that I’m going to need to see my doc ( I have an appointment next Tuesday, apparently someone was supposed to call to reschedule, which no one did besides her.)

The second, is a full stop. Because of my bleed last week and hospitalization, I am to stop treatment all together.

My numbers notwithstanding as I just took the test with viral load yesterday, I am to stop the treatment that will stop this bleeding that will stop me dying from this, that will allow me to live a near normal life.

I am to stop, with no information indicative to me that this is failing. No evidence, no data, nothing but the word of a secretary.

FUCK.

THAT.

I will be continuing this treatment until I am convinced otherwise that I must stop.

I didn't spend the last three months in hell to hear this from some stranger on the phone.

There are too many emotions swirling around right now for me to truly encapsulate how enraged, saddened and disgusted I am by this.

But thanks to the emotional enhancement of my treatment, there sure as hell is a lot of rage.

Another lovely twist of it, is that I have to keep my blood pressure down.

To avoid another bleed out like last week.