The-Difference

I haven’t posted in a while, as I was waiting for some news.

So now, I present…. Three odd statements that are joined by the conclusion! Enjoy.

Knowing the difference between less than and negative. 

I didn’t understand how someone could confuse to two terms, because <43 is not -43. While technically -43 <43… that’s not really what we’re talking about here… The symbol for subtraction – is also referred to as less than, if you think back to when you’re a kid and you were in lower grades K through 4^th, the sentence would read: “Four less than Six is Two.” Which would of course be 6-4=2  Hence a confusion between the terminology of less than and negative…

The other night I was having a conversation with a friend, explaining that I’d been showing great results with this treatment, he joked that I would probably go negative at the rate I was going…

Today I received a phone call from by nurse… I was expecting a call from my doctor, which meant that this wouldn’t be stellar news if it were coming from an intermediary. She called to tell me the results I’ve been waiting nearly two weeks for. She explained that the results showed progress, but the virus is not undetectable. She then told me my viral load…. Negative 43. I asked her what that meant… her response was “-43 is not undetectable, you have -43.” To which I rephrased myself “What does the negative forty three mean, is it better than zeroing out?”  She again explained “-43 is not undetectable, you have -43.” Realizing this was going nowhere I headed back to work.

Trying to make sense of it I talked with my mom, as she’d gone through this before. As she went through her paperwork I recalled a Less Than 43 Viral load that mom had maintained for six months before eventually being expelled from the treatment as it wasn’t working. The idea behind less than 43 is the number is so low it’s practically undetectable, but it’s still detectable. I put two and two together and realized that is what my nurse meant… less than 43.

This means I have one more blood test to take which shows that I’ve zeroed out, or I’m off the treatment. While it’s great news that I’m so close, I know what my mom went through. She could have ended the failed treatment six months prior but continued on in hopes that the less than 43 would transform into a zero.

Thankfully, my nurse said I’m moving to monthly blood tests which I can extrapolate to mean I have two more chances instead of one to zero out…

Overall I’m not sure what all of this means, but it doesn’t give me the warm-fuzzies by any stretch of the imagination. What I do know is I’ve got a hell of a fight ahead, and it’s the only fight I care to win right now.