Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Ink Blots and Arm Chairs
The last time i was here, i asked for my photo to be taken where they draw my blood.
I was excited to finish treatment, i told the ladies behind the desk "I'll see ya in six months!"
I should have taken this blood test when my doc ordered it. But I'm two weeks later than i should've been. I didn't want to go back, to come face to face with my failure again. In a weird way, this was my way of stalling, of taking in small aspects of my failure, to help myself deal with it.
When i smiled and said hello, they knew.
When i wrote my name down, they knew.
Concern hidden in their face as they quickly searched for busy work.
The phlebotomist looked at the orders and explained to me what i already knew:
"There's a test here, one I've never seen ordered, ordered for you before. It'll take a moment to see how they need this."
She readied the orders, and vials as i wait.
I've sat in this chair, in this hallway dozens of times. The earth tone swirls on the floor haven't inspired me to imagine what they could be, a Rorschach test of carpet it's not. But that doesn't stop me from trying.
I could go to any number of places to get my blood drawn, but i go here.
Perhaps i find myself similary, in the hallways seemingly perpetually under repair. Perhaps it's the fact that they have not bruised me yet, whatever the reason I'm here.
In this chair. It's just comfortable enough to want to leave after a few minutes. So beyond my worry regarding this test, i am growing more antsy with each moment.
The door just out of sight taunts me, creaking slowly as it shuts to a hushed slam.
As time passes, the earth-toned ink-blots dance on the floor in my imagination since the wifi won't give me access to reddit.
The girl behind the counter informed me "it'll take a while to get the information and to see what lab and where it needs to go."
So I left, waiting for them to call with an update.
"Tomorrow," she explained, "...tomorrow come in and get drawn in the morning."
The test, as it turns out is a delicate one and needs to be as fresh as possible.
This is the test that will help me determine what's going on. My now larger team will be analyzing every bit of the data, if not for my sake, then simply for curiosity. Failing Harvoni isn't unheard of, it's just very unlikely. So data like this is helpful in understanding what can and does go wrong.
Hopefully sometime next week we'll know what's going on.